Comments 4 the 3 choosen Peers #bcm325

From our own Pitches to others, to give praise, recommendation and feedback is a delightful opportunity. Below are the three peers’s pitches I chose to give comment to and a summary and self reflection of my own feedback for each.

First up, Josephine : The Future of Women in Leadership

Summary :

Josephine is exploring the future of women in leadership and its relevance for the growth of society. She plans to do YouTube videos as well as contextual essays and cover the time frame of. This DA already has a well rounded range of sources, with the hopes to speak to women of her community in Illawarra about the topic as a primary resource to further strengthen the validity and reliability of the project. 

Self Reflection :

 I expressed how I was drawn to the DA in that as a young women myself soon to graduate with the desires to withhold some sort of leadership role in the workplace. I gave insight into how I was part of her intended audience instantly. To follow through with praise on her pitches appearance and how the amount of research she has done already is working in her favour. 

Next I gave some feedback in regards to how I felt the DA may be trying to cover to much and that she may want to consider looking into one core element instead. Following with why I was giving this feedback and examples on how to follow through with it if she was to decide too. I really tried to make a clear and concise point, with reasoning and concluded my comment with a link to the feedback further with a resource about Female Leaders in the workplace/ Business. 

As I reflect on my comment I believe it was well balanced with praise and recommendations to further strengthen an already strong DA. 

Second, Jack : The Future of Music

Summary :

Jack is exploring the future of music, in the way it will be produced and accessed. He will showcase his exploration through video essays and plans to interview some Sydney musicians in the process. His intended audience for the DA is music lovers, people interested in either production or accessibility.  musicians, peers and potential future employers. 

Self reflection :

After an in-depth analysation of Jack’s DA I followed through a similar structure with highlighting some of the great elements of his pitch and why I believe his topic withholds both relevance and interest to a broad audience. I then continued to give feedback and expressed that the pitch was lacking sources as they were never mentioned, and added that I thought it would have been beneficial to name some of the artists or how he has reached out to them seeing as they were noted as a primary source for his DA. I believe this feedback was necessary as it will help build upon the quality of what is to come from his DA in terms of Video Essays and his Beta. 

After further analysation I suggested Jack to look into the impacts to the music industry from COVID-19 with a suggested source that offered a perspective on the Future of Music. I found this source would be valuable for Jack in exploring different ways to convey his own perspective in his Video Essays. I framed the entire comment around three key factors, highlighting the great components, feedback and recommendation which focus’s on the pitch and contributing ways to improve the DA’s future. 

& last but not least, Alicia : AR & VR Technolgoy Changing the way we shop online 

Summary :

Alicia is looking into the future of AR & VR Technology and it changing the way we shop online. It will be showcased through 3 video essays and discuss the short/medium-term future of online shopping with the technologies and particularly explore industries future and covid19’s effect so far. Alicia has companies she will be using to compare and contrast the different technologies  these companies include : Sephora, Ikea, Amazon. 

Self Reflection :

The feedback I noted to Alicia was that as a viewer I found she had so much to unpack during the pitch that she spoke very fast which meant I was replaying it a few times to capture everything. I further mentioned something I noticed about the target audience and its access. As I reflect on this feedback I believe it was valid in its approach for Alicia’s future parts of her DA especially the videos planned to help them become more effective in there delivery to audiences. I continued to recommend a source that I believe would be beneficial for Alicia’s research and case study of Sephora with AR technology. This comment was objected with the motives to help Alicia’s DA’s future success and conveyance to the targeted audience.

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